Michael Jackson’s Dead!!! OMG!!!

Okay, so it’s old news, but we were trolling about the web and came across a whole bunch of MJ jokes about his death we hadn’t heard yet. So here they are.

Some of them are a little offensive, but flame on people!

  • Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to the hospital… “put me on the children’s ward”
  • He’s moonwalking all the way to neverland now
  • What’s the difference between MJ and a Disney Film? Disney films can still touch kids
  • Michael Jackson’s upcoming London dates have been cancelled.
    They were James (aged 9) and Thomas (aged 11)
  • Plans to drive Michael Jackson to his funeral in a 15-year-old hearse were scuppered after his will said he’d hate to enter anything that old
  • What’s the difference between Jacko and Fergie?
    Fergie will be playing Giggs in August
  • What time did Michael Jackson die? I heard the big hand touched the little hand.
  • After Michael Jackson’s death, they were unsure what to put on the death certificate.
    In the end, one doctor pointed out it doesn’t really matter if he’s black or white.
  • He’s dead? Thought he looked a bit off colour
  • There are unconfirmed reports of people hearing Thriller playing backwards from the morgue – Apparently he’s de-composing.
  • Today’s mourners break into two camps: Farrah Fawcett Majors and Michael Jackson minors.
  • Michael Jackson suffered his heart attack while racing to a Los Angeles department store.
    Someone told him boys trousers were half off.
  • Apparently Jackson has requested in his will that his ashes be placed inside an ‘etch-a-sketch’…
    So even after his death, kids can continue to play and fiddle with him.
  • The US Coroners office just released a statement saying that they are going to melt down Michael’s body and turnn him into plastic toys so kids can play with him for a change
  • When Farrah Fawcet arrived at the pearly gates God granted her 1 wish. Farrah thought for a minute and said “I wish for the children to be safe”. God paused, smiled and then told her… “The children are safe… i just killed Michael Jackson”
  • Michael Jackson gets to the gates of heaven and God says to him ‘I cannot decide if you are black or white so just beat it’.
  • Reports of Michael Jackson having a heart attack are not true! He was in the children’s ward having a stroke
  • Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macaully Culkin last spent a night at the neverland ranch
  • In MJ’s will he’s requested to be cremated and his ashes mixed into a bowl of cocopops so that he could go through the ass of a 10 year old boy one last time
  • Early reports are that the hospital does not know what to do with the body, as plastic recycling is not collected until next Thursday.
  • Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital. The maternity ward was immediately put on lockdown.
  • Like Michael Jackson always said. “Live fast, die young, leave a vaguely vietnamese looking woman’s corpse”

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