Quick jokes

Stewardess: “Sorry for the delay. There was an engine noise the pilot didn’t like. We have a new pilot and will be taking off immediately.”


I saw a busker playing “Dancing Queen” on a didgeridoo. I thought to myself… “That’s Ab-original”


Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, can you drive this thing?


Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, can you drive this thing?


Q.What do you call a lion who never tells the truth? A.The lyin’ king


How many words are in the Webster’s dictionary?? Two!!


What did the tonsil say to the other tonsil? Get dressed the doctor is taken us out tonight


Q: A butcher is 5 foot 2 inch what does he weigh? A: meat


Why did the tiger always lose relay races because the other guy was a terrible cheetah

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path

How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it


Man walks into a bar – ouch!


They used to say that the day that America elects a black president will be the day that pigs fly …. a few months into Obama’s term of office … swine flu!


Husband asks wife, “How many men have you slept with?” Wife proudly replies,  “Only you Darling – With all the others, I stayed awake.”

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